Saturday, September 25, 2010

Weird Experience

As you know any typical sotware engineer (or for that matter even school children and bank employees these days) has an I.D card dangling from their neck. I have roped in Trisha to give you an example. Clap clap.
My company has also provided me one such I.D card. I have to flash it at the speed gates, at the entrance of my office, to get in or out of the building.
The other weekend I was at 4th Block doing the usual weekend "sight-seeing".
Shown below is one of the entrances to the complex. As you can see the bars are to prohibit two-wheelers from entering the shopping area.

As soon as I approached them, my hand automatically went towards my chest and I pulled an invisible I.D card, placed it at the top of the bar and waited a second for the speed gates to open.
When I realised what I was doing, I could not help laughing at myself. What has this software life done to me? Reflex and all is okay, but this is more like habit. Have I become so accustomed to the software way. May be I am just making too much of a little thing. Too much work these days. That's all.That's what my team-mates also said when I related this incident to them.
Must Rest.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Vandals in Safware World

This was taken on my floor's coffee area. The picture is one which is stuck on every Coffee Day coffee machine. Some unfortunate soul, frustrated by bug-fixing seems to have done this. The man looks particularly funny. Reminds me of someone from school.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


This is me.
When I look at this face in the mirror, I am encouraged to think "Not bad". It is by all means desirable,or so I like to think (in front of the mirror that is).
I think with this face I should be roaming with my arms around one or two pretty things. Okay,its not good to refer to girls as things I suppose but that is the point. I think, if I throw the bait I am sure to reel in something (some girl i.e., again no disrespect). If I take an aim I can hit the target. I stand a good chance in the market, if at all I choose to put myself in it. Bottom line is I think I can score.
So with this self-motivation and self proclaimed handsomeness I step outside. I go to Jayanagar 4th Block Shopping complex. I shall describe this place some other time
but that is where I go to do my weekend sight-seeing (girls, in case you are a chomu). One can see many type of females here. Maal babes, Babes, girls, young women. Girls just married dragging a rather tried looking guy behind them; girls just out of college; girls just into college; family aunties with two kids held by one hand each, uncle following as far away as he can.
As I roam around that complex all my motivation, all my self-dappa gets punctured.
The guys who actually have their arms around one or two pretty things are hunk dudes
who wear light coloured, plain T-shirts which stops just before their underwear patti and their underwear patti stops right were their jeans begins. Every hair on their
head points in different directions and they all carry a bag which goes over their shoulder and covers their bottom (I call them muddi bag). If not these Yo dudes, it is the cheeku faces with spectacles like Shah Rukh Khan in Mohabatein. I comfort myself by saying that those girls who are with such boys are cunning and manipulative,they are just hanging around him so that they can waste his money on coffees and cool-drinks. I may be wrong but just to comfort myself.The guys themselves are idiots who think having a girl around them is a prestige factor.They are both immature. Lite.
Okay, what about the mature women then? I look around for those. They also have some man's arm around their shoulder. These men have either no hair or very little hair on their head. Meaning tension from work. They have a Honda City car in which they take the lady out which means lots of money and they all have a tummy jutting out from over their belt which means no time for exercise. They all wear dull plain full sleeves and khaki trousers or XL T-shirts to hide the afore mentioned tummy. They look like they have been called just to carry the bags. This route to female company requires a lot of money, success and, most importantly, alteast one marrige. I don't want that in near future. Moreover according to my horoscope if I get married before I am twenty-nine the women will die early ( It is also mentioned in the same horoscope that I will grow a tummy. Amazing, the number of thing a computer software can predict).
Sometimes I see a normal couple with the lady carrying one of the child in her arms while the other child walks briskly in small steps to keep up with the father. I look at them and feel that they just got used to each other. They were put together by their respective parents and they just stayed on for lack of better option. On one side I feel happy for the two adults because they have each other's company.When one of them is depressed or gloomy or happy he/she has one person who is sure to hear them out and come to their aid or share their joy. On the other side I feel terrified to think that that is the only way to obtain a companionship in life. Companionhip which one can trust and depend on. I don't want to convey the idea that there is something wrong or incorrect with or terrifiying about our arranged marriage system however. It seems to have worked out well for us till now. It just seems pitiful to think that I might find my companion in a room full of silk saree clad aunties and "coffee pramaadam" uncles. Considering my brought up and family record I see this the most probable path to female companionship, if I want one that is.
Coming back to the 4th Block scene, sometimes I spot the older version of this couple in a Maruti 800 or in a Premier Padmini driving slowly back to their home after buying the week's supply of vegetables. They don't talk much to each other even while shopping because each knows the other down to the last detail. The old man knows where she will buy the leafy vegetables, where she will get the potato and when it time to buy the ghee. She also knows which vegetables the man likes and which ones he has to eat even if he doesn't like them. She knows how long it will be before the man loses his patience and starts whining about getting back into his easy-chair.To think they were also put together by their parents and that they too stuck to each other for lack of better option but in the end had each other right into their old age is quite heartening. This is what restores my faith in the arranged marriage system.
May be I will also get my pretty thing in that way only. May be I will also be stuck to her for lack of better option. But I hope we have each other long enough so that we can also drive around the complex slowly.
Kya ki.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010


Today is your birthday. Happy birthday.
I have no gift for you. Even if I had I am not in a position to be able to give it to you. But I send out a word of thanks.
Thank you for spending your childhood with me . Thanking for spending all the summer days with me and the rest of our friends. As soon as my mother left for office, I locked the house and ran down the lane where you were ready with the chakka bat(on which Reebok was written with sketch-pen) and plastic ball. I learnt more cricket from you than from Vijay Paul's coaching academy.You introduced me to T.V video games. When it was hot outside we went in and played Mario. Here again you were top class and I had to wait a long time for my turn to come since I used to be Luigi. But this was very rare because no matter how hot it was outside it was always cool under the portico of your house. Moreover you always had fridge water when we needed a break. Then we played on, match after match;individuals, one-tip-one-hand, outside out, wall four, no full covering, fast appeal allowed,connections those were our "rules". Every time you were bowled out by a fast bowl, you came up to ball with vengeance and let loose all the fury on the guy who bowled you out, which was invariably me. No problem, I enjoyed it, I liked bowling more anyway. I have never seen another individual who has played or followed sports with as much dedication as you have. Even when you were unwell in the hospital you asked frustBoy how Wimbledon was going on and if there was any thing worth mentioning. May be we should have come to see you more often. Chod, I don't want to talk about such sad things on your birthday.
You introduced me to cartoons, with all the hype about Johnny Quest and its title music, though it was quite irritating when you sang it aloud all the way back home. Added to this you rammed my bicycle into every lamp post and boulder and yelled "Mountain Baike" (because "Atlas Mountain Bike" was written on the frame of my cycle).
I want to thank you most for giving me my sense of humor. I consider you the founder of my kind of humor and for this I am deeply in debt to you. As I understand, your life was not eventful enough to satisfy your appetite for laughter. So you came up with your own reasons to laugh no matter how insane or idiotic they felt to the rest of us.
Like when Bhakti Agarwal brought rice for her lunch or when Nitin brought sweet bonda or salt-less pulihora or when Aravid brought bread (bread...hahahhaha), when Super tiffin's super tiffin rolled non-stop down two floors and rested where ever it rested, when donkey face went past you, when frustBoy slipped and feel down from his "auto". I could go on writing, and as I recollect the instances which showcase your unique sense of humor I am laughing out loud and heartily. What a life!!!
This is how one should live, so that when people think about them, they laugh and smile rather than feel pitiful or angry or disappointed.
You along with Aravid invented the word "flop" and it was quite amazing to think now how you maintained to stay your course even when you were getting extremely unpopular for criticizing every joke( then every fact, then every statement). Anyway, I have only to thank you for this since my point system is based on this.
Among your other skills which provided no practical value was taking good aim at street dogs. Once I got a dog for myself, I opposed this act but it didn't matter to you.Eating Maggi and licking the plate clean as if no one had eaten in that plate, another habit which I adopted from you. Waiting all day long for frustBoy to turn around so that familyGuy and you could show him the finger; throwing the ball out as soon as it was passed to you while playing basketball (this is courtesy frustBoy); throwing spit-bombs at class-mates - I have never seen a live demonstration but I am told it was very feared by all in your class; making up stories about the girl who lived opposite to your house; running away at the first sign of trouble - standard example for this would be the incident when you called a little boy riding on our pitch a "gandu" and he went and called his mother. You ran away and hid two lanes away along with familyGuy and frustBoy. Gandu saale. When there was dog shit or cow dung on the road you carefully guided us towards it and waiting silently for us to step into it and had a heartily laugh over that for the next week. Sadist gandu.
One incident I will never forget was when you failed in Mathematics and got 85 in English in one of the pre-finals. Everyone in your house was upset that you failed in Mathematics and you tried to console them by showing your marks in English to which your father said "Id enduku, sanka nakadaniki?". Hahahaha. Mori-covering pe khadke mast hassa main.
On the other hand you never gave us many reasons to tease you. You ate your tiffin before anyone could see what you brought and come up with a taunt (though I am told that it was almost always dosa). You never had any bike like “the auto” nor did you slip over anything nor stumble on any edge while in our company. When you joined Intensive Academy we could link you to some Army girl who came on Scooty and get some fun out of it but that didn't last long. Sorry about that. She was very desirable, like all Army girls, I suppose.
Today, I remember all these incidents,you muffled sinister motor laugh, the walk back to home from school, all the afternoon cricket during school days and all the evenings on my terrace where frustBoy and familyGuy joined. I remember how you fell sick and never recovered from the illness. I remember your face as you lay in your hall, happy as ever leaving us all crying and stunned. I have lost many people (and an animal) close to me but the loss of your company is what I miss most. The only consolation is that you are present in all of our jokes since, as I said already, you were the founder of our kind of humor.
I am sure I speak for familyGuy and frustBoy when I say that our lives would have been much more interesting if you were still around. You might also be stuck up in some cubicle like the rest of us and that would have sucked out all the life force that made you what you were. I am glad that didn't happen because souls like yours' are not meant to be bound.
I hope you are flying high above the clouds but stooping down just in time to watch one of us stumble over an edge or slip over some sand or vegetable peel.
Once again happy birthday Anivash. Sonu (hahaha).
Kaisa tha vo.

Monday, September 06, 2010


Lot of work these past few days. I have had to stay till 7.30 or 9 pm sometimes. No rest. I got sick in the meanwhile because of the erratic weather here. Rains when ever it feels like. The Big Guy seemed to have lost it for while. The doctor gave me anti-biotics for this normal fever and drained whatever energy was left in me. So I decided to get healthy and eat a fruit bowl everyday in our company's canteen. On the very first day of this new mission I saw a pretty girl waiting for the snack she had ordered just after me. Grilled cheese sandwich,it was. Not one of those anorexic types I guess or maybe she missed her lunch, I saw her send one dahi-puri down just a few minutes ago. I got my fruit bowl and sat down to eat it. She took a seat at the table opposite to mine facing me. Then I saw her face clearly, front view, no obstructions. She reminded me of someone from college. Some girl that is. That girl whom she remined me of was my darling in college. You know, the one favourite girl in college, the girl you would pattafy if at all you got into that business.
#if 0
Suddenly, I felt this surge of courage in me.No, not courage. Some weird thing like feeling. I got up and I went up to her and said "Can I sit here?". She looked up from her cheese grill in a rather confused way. She stared inanely at me. I took advantage of this and sat down. I didn't wait. I said "You remind me of someone from my college. She looked very much like you. Rotund face, chubby cheeks.Very pretty(I am sure I saw a smile at this point)........ I just wanted to tell you this because it is always pleasant to remember someone or something from college. And on a rather dull evening of writing code that didn't work this is quite a happy moment."
We ate the rest of our respective snacks in silence in our own company and she was first to leave.