Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Where am I?
You are here.
Where is here?
Here is where ever you want it to be.
Who are you?
I am the designated Angel for your dream.
Ah! So this is a dream.Wait. My dream has a designated a Angel!!
This one has.
Angel, where are all the beautiful girls ?
I can't answer that. I can only tell you where they are not.
Ok. Where are they not?
They are not with you.
Oook. That was a bit harsh.
Sorry, but reality generally is like that.
What are the beautiful girls doing ?
They are with their respective man/men.
What are they doing with their men?
They are eating most of the pop-corn he bought or wasting the food he ordered, increasing his fuel expenditure and decrease his vehicle's mileage.
No, I mean in the larger scheme of things.
Oh! They are eating away his mental health.
Gasp! Why would they do that?
Because the men let them do it.
But still, why would they do such a sinister thing even the man let them?
That is how they become more beautiful.
Blink. Blink.
I thought it was the make up or that they were born that way.
Ha! Poor boy. I don't blame you. They have perfected the deception over centuries of evolution and observation.
Then.... Then.... What about the girls who are beautiful from the inside.
Whose inside?
Their inside.
I didn't get you.
I mean what about the girls who are beautiful by nature, in their qualities ?
Oh them! They get married to lonely NRI men,mostly in the USA, or to government employees.
True. I understand.
Angel, why do the men let them eat away their mental health ?
They are lonely frustrated souls. They think that is what love is and so encourage it.
True. True.
Then, why don't the girls help them come out of this misunderstanding?
Because, if they did that, they would not have any male mental health to feed on and so would stop becoming more beautiful. Remember?
OOOOOO. I see.
And, frankly, its not their job. It is up to the men to get their stuff sorted out and have their head cleaned.
Correct. Wait. Are you take their side?
Look closer.
GASP! YOU ARE ONE OF THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!
That means you have been.......feeding of my mental health.
Got to wake up. Got to resis. Go to contr. Got to pro .. Got to..Got ...G.....

Monday, August 09, 2010

Frust 2

I am frust. I am growing a pot-belly, there is no exercise, unnecessary thoughts are causing lot of unrest. Bloody unrest, thu ne amma. Job is as usual, nothing ground breaking. Mother is shouting for everything and she won't let me marry Trisha. No friends in the city. All went away to US to do MS or to IIMs and stuff to do MBA and stuff. So, I am getting frust here with Mother and my dog also expired. Sha. The worst thing is that I can't blame anyone for all the above things with lead up to frust. That is even more frustrating.
I went to Benison Supermarket (near my home, there is a super market, Malu people. all bakeries, tea-shops, super markets in Bengaluru are managed by Malu people. I think they have a secret union or something). There I looked at the magazines on display. More frust. All talk about sex. Not sex as in gender. Sex as in sexual intercourse. More frust. "This season , can sex get any healthier", "Your road map to multiple oragms" ...on and on . Kya hain re ye? How much can I control.
Adding to all this, no girlfriend(s) also. Not that I want one. But as long as I am making my frust-list, I might as well add this.
I am not able to find time to read or write anything. Two thing I like doing, and I have no clue where my time is getting wasted. Lauda.
Therefore I have decided to vent of my frust in this post by choosing to write about an appropriate topic- Cabbage.
I hate cabbage. Hate it. I can smell it when it is made in my house as I return from a hard day's work. Stupid vegetable. I dislike all vegetables in general but I have decided to hate cabbage. If I die and go to hell, I will be given patha-gobi and rumali roti for enternity. That would be my hell. I hope God is reading this post.
My birthday came,oh yes!, that is one more problem, I let another year go down the drain. I took my mother to Three-Quarter Chinese, so that I can eat chinese food and she can eat Kulcha. As usual, I orders wonton soup. Guess what the wanton was stuffed with? Cabbage. Lauda-cabbage. One would think , that a restaurant that charges so much for its food, would offer a better choice of vegetables, much tasty, like carrot, or the leaf of the spring onion or something. Anything but cabbage. Thu.
My mother says, we should never show animosity towards food. We should be thankful to whatever we get. I am thankful, except for cabbage. Cabbage is maa ka ______.
May be that is the reason I am not so good with the computer. Charles Babbage, cabbage, you see.
Burt Munroe, in the movie, The world's Fastest Indian, says to the little boy, his neighbour, before leaving for America, "Remember boy, if you don't follow your dreams, you might as well be a vegetable." The little boy asks "which one?" and Burt replies "I don't know, a cabbage. Yes, a cabbage"
He could have named any vegetable, why then did he choose cabbage?
Worst is when coconut is grated into the preparation of cabbage. That is how it is made in my grandparents' house (father side). Kos krimedhu. Thu!!! I say to it. That is one of cousin's favourite dish. Even in McDonalds they give cabbage between the bun doused in mayonnaise. o0wwaak (vomiting sound).
Urban dictionary also as nothing good to say about cabbage. That's the final word.
Marke so jarum main.