Wednesday, June 28, 2017

First times

It was his first time. She was waiting in the other room. This was THE moment.
The chapter which his high school teacher skipped, he had read alone. The topic which his parents never discussed, he did with friends. Scenes which would warrant a franatic reach for the remote control, he had seen (incognito mode of course) till the monthly data pack got exhausted. And now, when all of what he had read, heard, seen, imagined, fantasized was to be put into effect; now, on this momentous occasion, for some reason, like those random memories your brain throws up from time to time, he remembered how he felt exactly the same hesitation, doubt, and nervousness the first time when, as a bachelor, he had tried to make upma.

Upma, the simplest tiffin in existence.  Water, rava, and salt - that's all it took. And yet, he was nervous; how much water, how much rava. Making sure there were no lumps, stirring vigorously. And finally finding out that it required some more salt.
How he hated it and protested when his mother used to make it. "Upma and all is not tiffin only", he used to say. "Once in a while you should eat. Everyday you can't have puri and alu", his mother snapped back. He did not know, then, how little energy one has after spending the entire day at the office. Now he knew. And now he knew, the value of upma. He ate it with all relish. "Next time I will fry some mustard seeds and curry leaves. May be also chop one onion into it", he started planning.
Over the months, he became a Chef de Upma. Monday- rava upma, Tuesday- goduma upma, Wednesday- semiya upma (his favourite upma), Thursday- avul upma (his least favourite upma). "If only I had a vengala panai to make rice upma" he thought to himself one night. He felt it would be an unnecessary investment. What else could he make in that. "As if I am going to kindi-fy mysore pak or make sakarapongal! Why buy for one dish" he reasoned. Then one day he read a surprisingly useful piece of kitchen-hack. "You can make arsi upma in any thick bottomed vessel, like a pressure cooker." He immediately tried it. Grand success. He wasn't so happy even when he got 97 in the CBSE 10th class Mathematics exam.
From making bland rava upma, he had come all the way to making arsi upma.

"Is everything alright in there?" called a voice from the bedroom.
"Yeah, yeah, just coming" he said
"So soon" she giggled.
He slapped his forehead and went in with a silly grin.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Was Draupadi's swayamvara fixed ?

From this extremely believable account of the Mahabharta War we are led to consider if it might have been a war, not between cousins but THE LAST WAR between two clans which were always at war: The Kuru-s and The Panchala-s. 

In that light, if we look at the way in which Draupadi's swayamvara was held and the criterion imposed, it appears that all of it might have been simply a show put on by the Panchala-s to acquire some strong allies from within the Kuru-s.
After North-Panchala was annexed by the Kuru-s (by an army motivated by Drona), the Panchala-s would have been looking for opportunities to get back the lost territory and perhaps even avenge the loss. According to Kshatriya code, even when the king is defeated in battle, he cannot be deprived of his land, which Drupada was. So there could have been more than an average bitterness in the Panchala-s. They sensed an opportunity when the Kuru cousins fell apart and might have wanted to forge an alliance with the Pandava-s.
When the Pandava-s were sent to Varnavrata, they were warned by Vidura that Dhuryodhana was plotting to kill them in the flammable mansion. Thanks to the warning the Pandava-s escaped but remained hidden, avoiding a direct face-off with Dhuryodhana because they had neither allies nor wealth. It is possible that Pachala king knew of the escape (through his own spies) and continued to follow their movements but was also waiting for a sound way to enter into alliance with them. What is a more solid base to build an alliance than a marriage. But Drupada could not openly approach the Pandava-s because they were presumed dead.

Hence the swayamvara was arranged and announced. An open challenge was thrown. This ensured that the Pandava-s, who were disguised as Brahamans could also participate. The criterion was one involving archery which removed people like Dhuryodhana etc from excelling. And the test was made so difficult that archers of only the highest skill could pass. Now, there were only two such archers in that period, Arjuna and Karna (and perhaps even Ashwathaama but he might have been too young). There is a debate if Karna even tried to win Draupadi. In the version that he did, it is said that Draupadi insulted his low-birth and refused to marry him even if he succeeded in the test (after it was a swayam-vara). This left Arjuna as the sole candidate who could even have a fair shot at the test. Arjuna proved not only fit for it but also successfully passed it to the great relief of Drupada.

With the marriage, both the Panchala-s and Pandava-s found a solid ally in each other. The alliance was made even stronger when Kunti wedded Draupadi to all the five brothers. This was important because Nakula and Sahadeva, unlike the other 3, were sons of Madri and there was a chance that they could demand their own kingdom in time either by their own accord or by being instigated by Dhuryodhana. If they did, it would cause a further split in the kingdom and a decrease in the support which Dharma might require to be crowned King of Kuru-s.

It is after this marriage that the Pandava-s got a piece of land where they could build a kingdom (and hence an army), perform the Rajasuya yagna and declare Dharma as Samrat, the title which could give him a lot of mileage in seeking further allies.

This could be a mere conspiracy theory which occurred to me during my long visits to the toilet and perhaps, even after a more thorough reading of the text, it will remain  so. Nevertheless, it is a fun possibility to consider.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

How much more are you going to milk Rajinikanth? - A response

I came across this article which asks Rajini fans a question. Since I consider myself a Rajini fan I have responded to it and added my own thoughts about our Thalaivar.

First some house-keeping:
  • Kabali reminds me of the plight of King Trishanku. It just hangs there in between Madras and Padayappa. Between Thalapathi and Basha. Very much watchable and 40,000 times better than Thalaivar's previous two outings. But, I can't say the same about Ranjith. However, it is not an "over-the-top masala potboilers". My understanding of that term includes movies like Linga, Chennai Express, Sultan, Pokiri, Theri etc. Kabali definitely does not deserve to be put along side these movies.
  • Yes, milk being wasted is repulsive and "fans" must avoid this.
  • Comparing Kamal and Rajini is, with some exaggeration and inaccuracy, like comparing Woody Allen and Will Ferrell. Both draw audience of different kinds. The former works with cinema like it were his only purpose in life while the later just makes us laugh/cry without much ado. Unlike Ajith vs Vijay or Pawan Kalyan vs Mahesh Babu there is no fan-rivalry between the Kamal and Rajini. Both understand their spaces, their "type" and are comfortable with it.  
  • "every single Rajinikanth film is essentially the same...": This is simply incorrect and perhaps the writer refers to the films which have released post Thalapathi (I say a little more of this phase of his career below). Also, many in the audience, especially the family audience, would consider his cigarette smoking to be a serious flaw - something which is very much liable to influence youth in a negative way. We will remember that Rajini's predecessor, in terms of type of fan base, M.G.R, never did any such this: no cigarette, no liquor, no women (and no acting if you ask me).
  • Yes, I do agree it is cringey when Rajini dances with Shriya or Nayantara. But I also cringed when I saw Salman Khan dancing with Anushka Sharma or Sonam Kapoor. To be fair, if he interferes with the casting he will be criticized for it. Anyway, we are more than willing to see him get back with Sridevi, Jayapradha, Meena, Ramya Krishna and others if only the producers and these ladies are willing (they are better actors anyway). 
Now matter:

Firstly, about the origin of Rajini. The 90s did not create Rajini. Our Rajini was created in 1977 it self with the line "idhu eppadi irruku" in Padinaru Vayadinile. A movie dominated by Sridevi and Kamal in which Rajini had only a supporting role and a single substantial line (the aforementioned one). But he transformed that into a punch dialogue with his delivery. Rajini need not flip cigarettes and light them with guns to be Rajini. (This was a much later development and every actor is allowed to indulge once or twice. Have we not tolerated Kamal's Dasavatharam?) On the other hand, it is these little things which he does differently that makes him synonymous with style. Take Kabali for instance. Even if you have not seen the movie, the two minute leaked clipped will show you how differently he wears a bracelet. See the famous swing scene in Padayappa: More than the fact that he pulls down a swing which his shawl (which any sensible fellow knows is impossible) it is how he slightly twists his wrist, before placing it on his knee that sticks with us. That is what we imitate after coming back to our homes. These little things are enough. That is what we are after. In a way, his style is not really a style, it is just his mannerism. It is sui generis. The hype in social media in recent times coupled with Rajini-jokes has given him a dimension we never had of our Thalaivar. Our Thalaivar started off as a villain (like Chiranjeevi), used to drink, made flops, obliged friends for guest roles (Pedda Rayadu) and we know this.

Sivaji, though not the proper comparison for Rajini, also has such a mixed image. If it is true that there is yet to be someone to deliver dialogues like him in Tamil cinema, it is also true that there is yet to be someone who "over-acts" like he does some times. But when we remember Sivaji we remember both and place the former aspect of his higher than the latter. Again, Robert Di Niro (who has also done regrettable stuff like Meet the Fockers etc.) has been trying, since a long time, to erase his image of a hard-hitting gangster by taking up projects like Midnight Run, Analyse This, Meet the Parents etc. But the image of his from Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Raging Bull are the ones that people keep referring to again and again.
In a similar way, Rajini has also done Aarilirunthu Arubathu Varai, Sri Raghavendra, Thalapathi, Baba etc. And when people remember him in the future they will remember all the Rajini-s. What they will place on top, time will tell.

The legacy of Rajini is not to be sought in his movies but in the actors he has caused. These include Murali, Vijaykanth (I admit with great regret), Paarthiban, Vijay, Surya, Dhanush, Vijay Sethupathi and many more to come: all dark. If it were not for Rajini, who showed that a dark guy need not just be a villain, these people would never have had a chance at making it this big. If Tamil cinema has such people as lead-actors when Telugu and Hindi cinema don't, it is because of Rajini (though he was ably guided by K.Balachander and aided by the general Dravidian Pride wave). And this legacy cannot be erased by flops nor by fanatic fans. 

Coming now to the point of letting him go, I would say that there are very few big stars (and Rajini is the biggest) in South who have as much freedom as Rajini (Upendra, Surya, Venkatesh also come to mind). Even Kamal is a slave to a stereotype - that of making "intellectual"/"deep"/"philosophical" movies like Hey Ram, Anbe Sivam, Virumandi etc. If Rajini was bound to fan demands, would he have done Baba ? Definitely not. Take another example: Robot.  The scene opens and he is working in his lab. That's all ! There is no bang, no somersault, no snake, no nadaswaram. Where is the "Hero Entry Scene", the entry song, which Rajini defined. If Rajini was indeed slave to the fans, would he have agreed to such an ordinary entry ? In Kushelan he had only a guest role. Which other big star do we know who has agreed to be part of experiments like Kochadaiiyaan ? (Of course, one may argue that he was perhaps pandering to his daughter's dreams. But I believe that his daughter knows him better than any of us fans and that if she knew her father cared more about his image than trying new things, she would never have approached him for the role and put him a spot.)

Now coming to the central question(s): "do you really love the man? Or do you love what you like to see of him?"
As fans we will see what ever he gives us and like him for that. As I said earlier, Baba is part of our image of Rajini and so is Baasha, so is Kushelan, so is Robot, so is Thillu-Mullu, and Billa. We want our Thalaivar to experiment to his heart's content. And we will lap it all up. Those who see Rajini only as a style-icon have most probably seen his 90s and 2000s movies. But this image was created by Thalaivar himself by choices like Annamalai, Baasha, Padayappa, Arunachalam etc. and only he can undo it. (In passing, I would like to remind that these movies had strong supporting actors. Baasha was possible because of Antony being played by Raghuvaran. Padayappa was such a sensation because of Ramya Krisha playing Neelambari. Muthu's romance scenes are not cringe-worthy because of his chemistry with Meena.) But those of us who have seen some of the other films know that he is capable of portraying dramatic and comedy roles too. We love him for all of these aspects. I don't deny that when the blue neon light title card comes up on the screen, we forget our selves and go into a frenzy. But that's all. Rest of what we expect depends on what the movie is about. We know what Pa.Ranjith movies are like and we knew he would not have any cringe-y romance or mindless dance-songs. We also know K.S.Ravikumar and that he will do exactly that. Based on this we change our expectation. Tomorrow, if Kamal or Bala or Karthik Subbaraj decide to direct Rajini we will change our expectation accordingly. But one thing we know is that Rajini will give his own version of the character and it will be unique. The movie may be a flop but we will not blame Rajini for it; ask him why did he have to do this, why he couldn't stick to his usual fights and style. Using a Madras-Tamil expression, I say that actors like Rajini have a getthu which requires the script to also have a getthu. If that is there, we will enjoy the movie no matter what.

Finally, taking up the question in the title, the answer simply is that we will milk him forever. When he acts in a good movie we will milk him on general principle. When his films flop we will milk his hits. When he takes a sabbatical we will milk his memories. When he passes away we will milk his movies on K T.V. Until the day all memory of him fades away, Superstar Rajinikanth will be milked as Superstar Rajinikanth: the dark-horse, the style-icon, the game changer.

Monday, July 06, 2015

Is Daenerys Targaryen Mānglik ?

This is the question that deserves some attention.
In Marutari's epic Himāgnikāvyam, Dhanalakśmi Thyāgarājan (a.k.a Dhanam) is one of the two principle characters (the other being a mūḍha by the name Jonardhana Swāmināthan). She is the only surviving member of her family and the mother of Ganaberuna-s.
Dhanalakśmi summoning her Ganaberuna
Now that five kāndā-s of the epic are complete and every one is worried about the fate of Jonardhanā (which is typical of the patriarchical society we live in), we are bound to ask if Dhanalakśmi suffers from acute Sevvai Dosham (Mangal Dosh or the curse of Mars).

Unfortunately, Marutari has not provided Dhanam's date or time of birth and so our astrological scientists are unable to draw her horoscope and tell us for sure. However, the miserable way in which her marriages failed give us strong evidence that she could indeed be a Mānglik.
Her first marriage, which was forced upon her, by her brother, Visleśa Thyāgarājan, started with what can undoubtedly be called marital rape. However, those who have a strong influence of Mangal on them possess "endurance, self-confidence, strength, courage, great organizing ability, independent spirit, and strong determination power."1 Because of this, she was able to turn the marriage around and bring reform in her husband. However, the happiness was short lived as, her husband was badly wounded soon after, went into a vegetative state and had to be "released" by Dhanam herself. The child, resulting from the union, was also still born. Her husband's horse was killed and, her tribe deserted her. Not to mention the marriage resulted in the death of her only living relative - her brother. The only good thing to come out of the marriage was the birth of 3 Ganaberuna-s which gave her enormous leverage later on in life. (These too, she finds extemely difficult to control)

Her second marriage, also forced on her (by herself, this time) did not even take place. The groom's death came as swiftly (and out of the blue) as the Ganaberuna came to his mother's rescue in the penultimate chapter of the 5th kāndā.
Hizdahr zo Loraq thinking "Why did I not contact Vādyār māmā ?"
Thus, based on these evidences we can say with significant confidence that Dhanalakśmi may indeed be suffering from Sevvai Dosham.
(Additionally, we can say that influence of Mars is strong on the Thyāgarājan family itself. Given that the house sigil is red in colour (which is Mar's colour) and their words are "Fire and Blood", reflective of the fact that the Fire is the element of Mars.)
Thankfully, our Vedic science of Jotiśya offers ready solutions for this problem.    
1. She must wear a coral-red gemstone. She must also discard her favourite blue dress and wear dresses which are predominantly red.
2. The lucky number for Sevvai is 9. She may remember this for future nāmakaraam and other rituals.
3. She may try to remove the dosham by performing "a ceremony called a kumbh vivah, in which the manglik "marries" a banana tree, a peepal tree, or a silver or gold idol of the Hindu God Vishnu."2
4. Or, the next time she must marry someone with equal Sevvai Dosham.  Since she herself does not possess her horoscope, she can have her thumb impression sent to Vaitheshwaran Koil (in Tamil Nadu) where there are some reliable match-makers (based on Nāi Jośyam).
5. She may as well come there herself since Vaitheshwaran Koil houses the shrine of Sevvai (or Mars or Angaraka) to whom she can pray and, receive blessings and, good grace. (She should bring her loyal guard Jorah, who is suffering from skin infection. The Lord Vaitheshwaran cures all diseases. Jorah must take a bath in the temple tank and offer abhishekam to Lord Vaitheshwaran.)

Our ancient ri-s who developed the science of Astrology provide practical solutions to all problems of one's life. Even if that person is a fictional character.
Jai Shri /insert name of ishta-devata/

Wednesday, June 24, 2015


In a village, there lived a chicken called Kot. Kot was unlike his brothers and sisters. While they pecked at the earth searching for worms, insects and grains, Kot looked up and wondered what it all meant. He would go to his father and ask him what was there beyond the coop and the farmer's house, or what was the bright thing moving in the sky, or why the cow gave milk but hens didn't. His father simply ignored him- he was too busy finding worms, insects and grains. So he went to his mother and asked her. She yelled back at him and told him to stop worrying about such things and get busy finding worms, insects and grains. Kot asked her, "Why?" to which Kot's mother yelled at him once again.

Kot kept looking at the sky in speculation. Soon he started to grow lean and his mother was very worried. She repeatedly complained about him to his father. After a while, tired of the hen-pecking, quite literally, he decided to have a word with Kot. He went to him and said, "Kot, why don't you peck at the ground like the rest of us?". Kot asked him again, "Why ? The farmer already gives us seeds and grains. Why should we peck at the ground looking for worms and insects?" Kot's father said,"Oh! Do you think we peck at the ground looking for worms and insects?!", Kot said,"Of course, why else ?". Kot's father said, "Kot, let me tell you the real reason why we peck at the earth. You see, long ago, when there was no coop or farmer, all  living beings used to live on the ground. Soon, there was no space at all on the ground to live and all animals started fighting with each other over one another's space. Then a magical needle appeared in the sky and a voice said, 'If you pierce yourself with this needle, you will get the power to fly and you need not fight for space on the ground. You can live among the clouds and build your nests in the mountains'. The eagle pounced upon the needle and pierced itself with it. Immediately, it started flying high among the clouds just as the voice said. It gave the needle to the hawk, which also started flying but not as high as the eagle. One by one all the animals which wanted to fly pierced themselves with the needle and started flying happily. But they found that the power of the needle was gradually decreasing. When it came to the pigeon, they found that he could fly only very low and that too for only a short while. The pigeon passed it to the peacock. The peacock pierced itself and found that he could not even fly as high as a tree. In rage, he threw the needle away, instead of passing it to the hen, which was standing right behind the peacock. The hen too wanted to fly, but now he could not do that since the needle was lost. So, he started searching for it with his beak. To this day, we hens peck at the ground looking for that needle, not to search for worms and insects! If you really want to know what lies beyond the farmer's house and the hills, you should look for the needle, so that you can fly anywhere you want. Who knows, after lying around unused for all these ages, the needle would have got back its original power. You will be able to fly as high as the eagle. You would like that, wouldn't you?" 

Kot listened to him as if transfixed. The thought of flying among the clouds filled him with great enthusiasm. He immediately started pecking at the ground looking for the needle. He told this story to his brothers and sisters and they too started pecking at the ground hoping to fly as high as the eagle. As a result, they unearthed a lot of worms and insects which they unconsciously ate and became quite fat.

Now the farmer bred hens just for his family's needs. But when he saw such plump hens in his farm he decided to sell them to the butcher for he was sure that they would fetch him a hefty sum. So, one day he picked up Kot and all his brothers and sisters and took them in his truck to the market. Sitting in a cage in the truck, Kot felt very happy. He was moving so fast that he thought he was flying. He told himself that he might have found the needle without knowing about it. "Even the eagle might not fly so fast," he thought to himself.
But his happiness was short-lived. After sometime, the truck stopped and all the cages where stacked outside the butcher's shop. As expected the farmer got a hefty sum for the hens. Now, Kot and his brothers and sisters sat there in the cages failing to understand what was happening. Soon, they started hearing hens screaming. Kot asked a hen, who was in the cage below his, what was going on. The hen replied, "I don't know. The man there come here every now and then, takes one of us behind that little wall and we never see the hen again. All I know is that there is lot of blood."

A few days later, the butcher opened the cage and reached for Kot and his brother. His brother started to screech, "Brother, brother ! What is going to happen to us?" Kot had no answer. He was too stunned to say anything. The butcher took them behind the little wall. He tied Kot's legs and hung him upside down. He then took Kot's brother and placed his head on a block. All the while Kot's brother kept screaming. The butcher picked up a shiny object, raised his hand high and then brought it down swiftly. Kot saw his brother's head roll off. He then watched as the butcher cut his brother's legs, plucked off his wings, removed his innards and put him in a bag and give it to the man standing on the other side of the wall. Kot knew that it was his turn now. But the man on the other side signalled the butcher to stop. He had not expected to get so much meat from a single hen so he didn't want any more. So the butcher picked Kot and placed him back in his cage.

All his brothers and sisters asked him what he had seen and where their brother was. Kot could not speak for a while but then slowly told them what happened to all the hens. His siblings could not believe what they were hearing. They all started shouting at Kot. They blamed him for their fate. They said, "You spread lies and made us peck at the ground all the time. If we had not listened to you, we would have been at the farm with father and mother."

Soon the sun set and it was time to close the shop. The butcher placed all the cages inside the shop and brought the shutter down.

In the darkness, the hens grew even more scared. They fluttered their wings and tried desperately to move about but they couldn’t. They became even more angry at Kot and in rage one of his brothers pecked at him so hard that Kot began to bleed.

As he lay there losing blood, he realised that there could be one way in which he could set all his brother and sisters free. He said to them, "I know I have led you to this horrible fate. But if you listen to me one last time I assure you we can all be free."

The next morning when the butcher came to the shop, he saw blood running out from under the shutter. He opened the cage and found all the hens soaked in their own blood. They had pecked at one another until they all bled to death.

Kot and all his brothers and sisters were now truly free.

(The needle story I read long ago in Tinkle or some such place)

Friday, November 07, 2014

Frust 3 : Reaching new levels

Today I saw one couple feeding chapati to each other in our university canteen. This gave me lot of unrest and I decided to launch an association.
The name of this association is Association of Frustrated People who Want to be in a Relationship But Aren't due to Various Reasons (AFPWRBAVR). In short AFP (which is a very smart anagram of FAP).
As the name says, anyone who wants to be in a relationship but isn't due to various reasons and is hence frust can be part of this association. The reason may be anything: fear of commitment, inferiority complex, body odour, bad breath, pot belly, caste feelings, family pressure or simply lacking the courage to approach your crush.
Our main job will be to try and help each other get into a relationship oppose PDA. Not because of any moral reasons but because we don't get to indulge in any (in other words, because of jealousy).
We shall do this by applying the following tactics (for example):
1.  When a couple is sitting in one corner, AFP members shall go near that place and pretend that they are attending to a phone call and talk loudly and, if you feel, throw in a few abuses to the "caller" at the other end. Or,
2. When a couple is sitting in one place, purposefully go and occupy the table/bench next to it even if the entire place is empty and again talk loudly.

Points will be given to any other creative methods for disrupting PDA.

Apart from this, we shall, if you feel like, share with others the reason why you are not in a relationship. Most of us don't have time for such emotion, senti stuff but you can say it aloud and let it hang out there instead of keeping it inside.

Further activities, rules and guidelines to be announced on the basis of need.

afppers of the world unite.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Married - A Facebook Experiment

Lately I have been under some pressure to prepare myself for marriage. My mother has notified me that next year I will be getting married come what may. Added to this, relatives do their job of making routine enquiry, sometimes getting all philosophical by saying that one has to go through all stages of life and such things. All this ok. What flipped the switch was that Facebook too got into the act recently and started posting ads of matrimonial sites on my 'wall'. I thought it would be a good idea to shut at least one mouth up and so changed my status from 'single' to 'married'.
I notified everyone that this was only a test to see if the ads stop and to see what other types of ads come up. (Ignoring this many of my friends congratulated me and wished me and my fictitious wife a happy married life.)
The test turned out to be a great success. The matrimonial ads stopped almost immediately. Victory was near. But the power for advertising could not be undone. As some of my friends warned me, ads about honeymoon/vacation trips started to appear. Exotic locations over the weekend. I was asked if I wanted my family's name engraved on wood (for ease of the near-extinct postman I suppose). Some wedding and event planning company in Vishakapatnam felt I would require their services now (after my wedding. I cannot understand why). Even Flipkart took a dig and started suggesting amazing offers on blenders and juice makers. One of the most common ads was that of some furniture company (one called FabFurniture) which kept insisting that I should definitely get a wooden cupboard and other fancy furniture items. 
The most frequent ad, mother promise, was of some company called Life Cell which asked me if my wife is pregnant and if she was, then I ought to start knowing about stem cell banking. I should gift my baby "the power of stem cells", it said. Yet another company asked me the same question and said that if the answer is again in the affirmative, I should get my wife's pregnancy scan done at their place. It had a ultrasound scan photo of a baby on the abdomen of a pregnant lady. (A very creepy image if you ask me. Attached for your judgment. Somehow reminded me of the movie Total Recall. Don't ask how, why and all.) 

Now let us talk about these two ads for a while. First of all, I have been "married" for not even 3 days. How could Facebook deduce that my wife could be pregnant or that I will start thinking about pregnancy immediately ? Perhaps Facebook performed an in depth analysis of my photos and using all their face recognition software came up with two alternatives:
1. I married a woman who was already pregnant (hopefully because of me. Other wise I don't want to discuss it here. It a personal issue between my wife and me)?  This could be from some of the more "rowdy"/"crazy" images that I had used as my profile picture.
2. Or, and I think this is more likely, Facebook, deduced from my looks that I was so awesomely powerful that my "seed" could impregnate a woman in a matter of hours. Remember how six nymphs got impregnated by Lord Shiva's "seed(s)" just because they were having bath in the same river in which Agni dropped them (because they were so hot. Not the nymphs, the "seed(s)".) Well, perhaps Facebook thought I too was so potent. Thank you Facebook. You understand my powers. Please, come up with a super-hero name for such an impregnator. Something like Instant Impregnator, Impregnator Extraordinaire.
What I cannot understand is, why not post ads of condoms instead ? See, we have so much population already in the country. Added to that, so many children are orphaned due to poverty (or because they are girls) or sold into beggary. We could do with a lot less child production, don't you think ? Another reason I will give. See, all said and done, it is an open secret that the only way (most) Indian men get any "action" is by getting married. So, after controlling all that sexual frustration for so many years, it could be that they forget a very important think like protection on the day (or night, to follow more tradition accounts) of reckoning. So, it would be wise to remind them of that. Think about it Facebook.
Following these ads were physiotherapy ads for back pain. Now, I am not saying that back pain has direct link to the above activity but the connection seems hard to miss. It's all a calculated strategy see.
All this also okay. Why diaper discount ads are coming ? Perhaps Facebook judges that my wife also has super awesome powers of immediately delivering the baby. Instant growth and speedy delivery. Ready for one more madam and sir ?
Last, but not the least, BlapPlus hair consultation offers me cheap consultation and remedy for hair loss and baldness ! This is where I got a jolt. Now, Facebook knows my age (and that's why posted the matrimonial ads I guess) and would hence know that I could not be going bald at least in near future. (I am talking of the average man here. Some unfortunate ones are already going bald. All genes.) But as soon as it saw that I was married, it changed its mind. "See", its artificial intelligence must have thought, "this guy is a nut. He must have married a nut. She might be driving him into becoming an even greater nut. Therefore, his head might start looking like a nut- smooth and spotless. Hence proved. Let me suggest some baldness treatment."
Apart from these striking ones, I used to get ads about mutual fund investments. That's all.
Going by the ads, I could an indirect glimpse into what my life would be like after marriage. It scared me. Hence I decided to change my status back to "single". At least the ads of matrimonial sites have pretty girls on them and not creepy ultrasounded abdomens.

P.S: No insultation of women is intended. Giving birth is an experience I will never be able to undergo myself so all respect to female people.