Saturday, August 11, 2007

Funda...

The thing with the world is that there is so much sorrow and hatred in it. So much that if all the sorrow and hatred were brought together at one place the weight would cause the earth to suck itself into a black hole. OK, bad logic. But that is the truth. There is lot of sorrow and hatred in the world. And to prevent the above catastrophe from happening, all that sorrow and hatred is distributed uniformly throughout the entire surface of the earth.

Why only on the surface, why not beneath it? Well, us human beings don't live beneath the surface now do we? That is, all the above mentioned gigantic amount of sorrow and hatred is in the hearts and minds of men/women alone. All other life forms ranging from single celled bacteria to a sea horse have found a nice balance with the nature and the other life forms around them. They seem to be happy to live and let live.

Human beings on the other hand are greedy idiots. They are proud that they have the highest brain-body ratio. They are arrogant and assume that some 300(or whatever) million years of evolution was, in some way, primarily to give way to the man/woman kind. It is us human-beings who seek more and more and roam around greedily on this planet. Look what he did to the dodo .Look what he did to the ozone layer. Look what he did to the forests. Look what he did to the beautiful snow covered mountains of Switzerland. Look what he did to the Sumatran rhinoceros in remote forests of Sumatra (well I don’t know what exactly he did but he sure isn’t leaving that poor shy creature alone).Look what he did to the Hindi movies, not one is viewable. Look what he did to the internet; damned thing is filled with bogus crap and porn. Look what he did to almost everything.

And for all the miseries amidst which I live I blame one thing. The apple. The apple made Adam and Eve do naughty things and give birth to another idiot. And from then on the process never stopped. Now we have a planet full of idiots. The apple fell down from a tree & hit a particular guy's head & made way to a whole new era in a whole new subject which I had to read for my JEE preparation .And lastly, and this is one of my personnel troubles, the apple is an annoyingly difficult fruit to eat or cut or both .

I also blame Pandora for opening that idiotic box. I blame Sir Robert Clive for winning the battle of Plassey and laying the foundation for the British conquest of India. I blame Archduke Franz Ferdinand for dying and thus triggering off the World War I which may be said to be the cause of 33% of the world's present miseries. 33% of the rest might be due to the 2nd world war and the remaining 33% is the result of the pure insanity of human actions.

I could have been born on a planet in another solar system which had millions of sunny beaches with half-naked women running around.

I could have been born on a planet where all the tree leaves where made of chocolate & all the creepers were maggi noodles.

I could have been born at a place where all the food that one could get was Italian and nothing else.

I could have been born at a place where the oceans and other water bodies were of tea/coffee instead of water (tea/coffee bodies they would be).

I could have been born there where money grew on trees and no one had to prepare for campus recruitment.

I could have been born on a comet so cold that I could have to drink hot chocolate and soup, but then they would become cold. Drop that

I could have been born on a star so hot that I could get all the ice-cream I wanted. But that ice cream would melt away. Drop that too.

Damn!

All my wishes need the planet earth to exist. While I thought I could live happily without this planet .I need earth for the Italian food, for the maggi, for the tea and for the half naked women most importantly. All the pleasures of my dream world would have to come from earth. But then I would want to live on earth because all the beautiful (and tasty) things I need would be there.

It would be filled with sorrow but it would also be filled happiness. It would have jealousy and deceit but there would also be trust and friendship. It would be cruel but there would also be kindness. It would have hate, but it would also have love. It would have internet filled with porn but it would also have fresherworld.com or orkut or Wikipedia. There would be poverty but there would be the wealth of culture and heritage. There would be thieves and there would be the police. There would be Windows but there would also be Linux.

And the thus the world would be filed with great many thing to explore and experience .I am glad I was born. I am glad I live here; here in this world filled with so much sorrow and hatred that its combined mass would make the earth suck itself into a black hole.

6 comments:

LaxSidd said...

The last of your blogs is really cool. I thought that it resembled the lines of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy but this was anything but copied!!! And man!!! You've got some fantasies.... o'course some are tempting some wierd. But all in all I rate this article as the best one you've made so far.

venkata raghavan said...

may be ....it does resemble the hitchhikers's .esp marvin .may be this is some this marvin would realise and say if he manages to come out of his depressing world

too many questions ...too few answers said...

so were all doomed to live on the earth though thers more shit than good stuff...but in the end its worth it...
sumthing like ISM ??

R@hul said...

Help!!! Help!!! The blogosphere has taken over my friend Raghavan...!!!

You're getting real good at it machi.... Keep going and once in a while... remember those of us... who aren't able to access the blogosphere because of something called the TCS @#$^%$ firewall.

PS: Hope your attendance in dhaiyya is above the requisite level .i.e. 99%

anirudh said...

macha ...nice blog ,pretty much impressed !!! best tht i have ever seen..let thm keep comin......

Bharath Vignesh said...

i have started reading ur blogs...they r sheer passtime...but this one is the best...ur master piece